Ask Ori

Girlvert Limited Art Edition Available for Pre-Order Now!

Fri, 13 May 2011 12:17:12 -0700

PRE-ORDER: GIRLVERT: A PORNO MEMOIR by Oriana Small AKA Ashley Blue, The Art Edition (Exclusively Limited to 50 Copies)

“Oriana Small has pushed herself to the outermost extremes of what the body and mind are capable of—all before turning thirty years old—and now she’s made it an authentic read for the rest of us to marvel at, elevating the depravity and denial inherent in the pornographic arts to a singular literary experience.” —JAMES FREY, author of A Million Little Pieces and Bright Shiny Morning

Proclaimed “girl-pervert” Oriana Small AKA Ashley Blue, a veritable artist at heart, weaves through the intricacies of a decade in and out of the adult film industry, love, drugs, and her own firebrand of what it means to live ecstatically.

This beautiful art edition of Girlvert: A Porno Memoir by Oriana Small AKA Ashley Blue is limited to only 50 copies, and features:

Limited edition copy of the book with stonecut edges and a very special French-flappedletterpress cover that distinguishes itself dramatically from the standard trade edition cover art and design (signed and dated by the author)
Jacketed in handmade Japanese paper by designer Ted Nava, including one bulbous Oriana Small pubic hair plucked by Small herself and inserted into each sheet of dust jacket paper as it dries
Slipcased in beautiful handmade plywood by Ted Nava
One original Polaroid of Oriana Small by legendary photographer Dave Naz
One limited to 50 5x7 (hand signed and numbered) lithograph of Oriana Small artwork NOT featured in the book
Admission for one to your choice of XXX Nite with Oriana Small and Friends launch events in either Los Angeles or New York

PEASE NOTE: This is for PRE-ORDER ONLY. Actual limited edition books will be either shipped or available for pickup no sooner than May 3, 2011. Freight is complimentary. However, ACT NOW! These will not be around long!
Publicity and Inquiries:
Tyson CornellRare Bird Lit453 South Spring Street, Suite 531Los Angeles, CA 90013213.623.1773tyson@rarebirdlit.com www.rarebirdlit.com
www.abarnaclebook.com www.askori.com

Dear Girlvert,

I’m a good-looking, funny guy who has no problem finding women to sleep with. Lately though, it has been pointed out by my friends that I always take over the conversation and dominate the room while in a public setting. I’ve taken a look at this and have tried to not do that, and I instantly feel ugly and worthless. I see guys who aren’t good-looking with nothing really interesting to say and they somehow get girls and seem to be happier and more calm than me. What gives? What am I missing? Why am I overcompensating and working so hard to achieve the results I see others achieve with ease? Low self-esteem? Please advise.

—Phil

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:35:39 -0800

Phil,

Sometimes a person has to get gnarly…then the alcohol cooks off, smoke clears, and the Lap-Band melts away that last hundred. Why would anyone take Hydroxycut if there was no “before” pic? You are just being yourself, not trying to dominate. It’s really not your fault if other guys feel threatened. Just ignore the complaints but try not to be a total asshole. Fuck most of what everyone else says. It’s not healthy to censor yourself too much.

Do you want to play the “calm happy” guy? No! You don’t respect him. So don’t think that the girl you want to fall for you would be satisfied with that. You are crazy. He is stationary. If you ever feel yourself being consumed with envy, just try to talk to him. It will make you feel better about yourself. Then take that confidence and reinvest it into ONE girl, not a roomful. You don’t have low self-esteem. Maybe a little ADHD.

xoxo Ori

"Don’t talk yourself out of saying something weird to any woman. Trust me, it will work eventually...."

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:32:35 -0800

“Don’t talk yourself out of saying something weird to any woman. Trust me, it will work eventually. It takes work. And so does making a porn.”

- xoxo Ori

Dear Girlvert,

I can’t talk to girls. When I’m out at bars or in any situation. Mostly because I’m shy and just not even interested in making an effort anymore. But I really like porn. Are there any girls who are like that I could meet?

—Jeremy

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:31:16 -0800

Jeremy,

You talk to girls every day of your life. Maybe some would fuck you, if given the right proposal. Don’t compare your life to a porn. Just use it to jerk off. You need to live your life instead of shying away all the time. Don’t talk yourself out of saying something weird to any woman. Trust me, it will work eventually. It takes work. And so does making a porn. Those girls are getting paid. We all need a reason to fuck.

xoxo Ori

Photo: Dennis McGrath

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:28:23 -0800

Photo: Dennis McGrath

"If a girl is holding back a bunch of crap inside of her, the butthole tightens up and you will never..."

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:26:08 -0800

“If a girl is holding back a bunch of crap inside of her, the butthole tightens up and you will never even get to fingerfuck it.”

- xoxo Ori

Hey Girlvert,

No girls ever want to do anal. What can I do?

—Ryan

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:24:39 -0800

Ryan,

Most girls are just not prepared for anal and are intimidated. They need to do enemas to get rid of the turds before you stick your cock in. If a girl is holding back a bunch of crap inside of her, the butthole tightens up and you will never even get to fingerfuck it. Unless you hang out with girls on drugs. They will be the least full of feces, because they are too strung-out to eat. So, if you want to fuck the ass of a woman you care about, give her an enema. It will loosen up and relax the hole.

xoxo Ori

Dear Girlvert,

How do I get my girl to watch porn with me? And do things in the movies that I jerk off to? I’ve already tried, but she just gets so pissed off.I’m so depressed.

—Chad

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:21:25 -0800

Dear Chad,

Most women don’t want any guy to show them an instructional video on how to fuck. The idea is insulting at first, and lingers for awhile, actually. Don’t worry or give up. Ease the ideas in gracefully and subtly. Eventually, she will get used to it. It’s a new idea. Just think of how you would feel if the tables were turned. Without seeming like it’s a compulsion, keep putting on the porn and looking at it, every weekend. Let her critique how flawed the actors are. That is how we feel better about ourselves (e.g. Us Weekly, Star Magazine). After a few months of persistence, she will end up feeling like she can do BETTER than the stupid bitches in those movies! All of them! She’ll show YOU!

xoxo Ori

Jolly Roger

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:26:00 -0800

It was cold and foggy like it always is on the Westside of Los Angeles in the morning. My call time was nine thirty, and I was going to be on time because Tyler wasn’t coming with me. That guy was probably late to his own birth. He actually wasn’t allowed to come to this shoot. The director, Spike, specifically said, “No boyfriends.” —from Girlvert: A Porno Memoir

"I wanted to be the most beautiful thing that ever fucked."

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:23:23 -0800

““I wanted to be the most beautiful thing that ever fucked.””

Photo: Dennis McGrath

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 20:48:00 -0800

Photo: Dennis McGrath

Ask Ori

Girlvert Limited Art Edition Available for Pre-Order Now!

"Don’t talk yourself out of saying something weird to any woman. Trust me, it will work eventually...."

Dear Girlvert, I can’t talk to girls. When I’m out at bars or in any situation. Mostly because I’m shy and just not even interested in making an effort anymore. But I really like porn. Are there any girls who are like that I could meet? —Jeremy

Photo: Dennis McGrath

"If a girl is holding back a bunch of crap inside of her, the butthole tightens up and you will never..."

Hey Girlvert, No girls ever want to do anal. What can I do? —Ryan

Dear Girlvert, How do I get my girl to watch porn with me? And do things in the movies that I jerk off to? I’ve already tried, but she just gets so pissed off.I’m so depressed. —Chad

Jolly Roger

"I wanted to be the most beautiful thing that ever fucked."

Photo: Dennis McGrath

Dear Girlvert,

I can’t talk to girls. When I’m out at bars or in any situation. Mostly because I’m shy and just not even interested in making an effort anymore. But I really like porn. Are there any girls who are like that I could meet?

—Jeremy

Hey Girlvert,

No girls ever want to do anal. What can I do?

—Ryan

Dear Girlvert,

How do I get my girl to watch porn with me? And do things in the movies that I jerk off to? I’ve already tried, but she just gets so pissed off.I’m so depressed.

—Chad